I was utterly distraught in between my successes at being calm and collected at the dentist. And I cried. At more than one point in the hour and a half visit. And actually the two assistants, a woman my age and a woman my parents' age, cried also because of my crying. How's that for being a melodramatic inspiration?
They tried multiple attempts at anesthetic to numb my mouth (including a very painful shot to the roof of my mouth that made me jump), but it didn't work well enough. Apparently, anesthetic moves quickly through a person's system when she experiences high levels of anxiety. I clung to the informational sheet that they gave me on cracked teeth and crowns while they tried to work. I tried cotton in my ears to keep out the sound of the drill, but it didn't really muffle much. They also tried giving me nitrous oxide (laughing gas), but at first I had trouble breathing through my slightly stuffy nose with the little mask pressing down on it. They retrieved a larger mask with more room to breathe, but when the nitrous oxide got turned up, it ended up amplifying my distress instead of alleviating it. The gas smelled like pesticides with each breath I took. I finally pulled the mask off because I really felt like I needed a decent breath of air, and, of course, that ruins the whole effect they're trying to create. It was making me feel more panic anyway. I truly tried to go through with it all as easily as I could, but I still had feeling in my mouth, so on reflex I would jerk away when I felt pain.
They decided that rescheduling the appointment for next week (with an anti-anxiety pill to put me out while they prepare my crippled tooth for its temporary crown) would be best for all involved. I agree. I don't ever remembering being so uptight about visiting a dentist, but then again I never had anything incredibly negative happen to me to make me doubt being there.
When I got home I was absolutely worn out by the stress of the afternoon, but I actually felt positive and I felt relieved. I didn't sit through the dentist experience holding onto my anger about the situation. I appreciated their genuine emotion in trying to take care of me and comfort me through my fears.
(And the thought that Snark will be there next time is reassuring to me also.)
2 comments:
I used to love going to the dentist--for all the free toys! (In other words, for all the free "cheap things at the bottom of cereal boxes" that the dentist didn't know what else to do with).
Wow, your trip sounds so traumatizing. I've never felt that way at the dentist before, but hope that your next visit will go more smoothly.
I never liked the sound of the cleaning equipment or the drill at the dentist, but I've never freaked out like this before. I don't ever remember getting toys, but everyone else seems too. I really like getting colored toothbrushes though! Maybe that just indicates my tendency toward nerdiness!
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