reality for pausing

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

here's my brainstorm for tuesday morning:

*high fidelity--last night we were reminded that this is a pretty good movie (which is a clumsy way of saying that we watched it and liked it, even though we've seen it before in the past). snark liked it so much he proposed watching it again an hour after we had finished it. i remember the book being pretty good too, though, it's been a couple of years since i've read it, so i don't remember anything specific. we were surprised that the movie came out in 2000; we thought it had come out earlier than that. and what do you know? john cusack's full name is john paul! that's what my patma named my brother who died a year before i was born (he was a baby). could john paul cusack possibly been named for john lennon and paul mccartney as well? ah, probably not, but a neat coincidence.

*i realized the other day that i can post with out having to title my posts! what a relief! i'm horrible at titles.

*dolly parton is my new on-screen hero. a couple of nights ago we watched 9 to 5 (with dolly parton, jane fonda, and lily tomlin). it's got pretty bad acting and is super cheesy, but i loved it anyway. they are sassy and basically don't put up with the sexist shit their boss dishes out to them in the film. mostly, though, i was fascinated by dolly parton's curvy body. it is so rare these days to see actresses and models who have a belly and are considered sexy. dolly parton has all the curves--the belly and the hips, not just the breasts and a skinny frame, which i'm used to seeing on screen and magazines. i loved it! it's wonderful to see a somewhat different image of what is beautiful, and standards (well, at least the belly standard) that is natural. i can just imagine how less screwed up women would be if we regularly viewed images of women with bellies, big hips, and butts and thought of that as THE standard, rather than a characteristic that women need to lose or slim down to become attractive.

in the film, the three main actresses daydream about how they'd like to get back at their boss for being a sexist jerk to them. below is dolly's fantasy. lilly tomlin's fantasy is pretty funny too.

get your boss fantasy 2

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about this blog

Originally, I created this blog for family and friends to stay updated with our location and happenings while we were traveling the country. But only a few months after I began blogging about our travel adventures we drove into the sweet, slow town of Bisbee and ended up staying. We actually moved five times while living there, thanks to generous neighbors who asked us to long-term housesit in between our rentals. We are on the move once more, and so it seems we are habitually in transition.

Traveling and moving so often stirs up questions for us about what we really need to feel content, comfortable, and energized about life; it emphasizes for us our relationship and attachment to things--ours and other people's things that fill our living spaces; and it encourages me to appreciate the value in staying put, while realizing that frequent physical change underscores the uncertainty and occasions for choice that exist in all moments of life.

MARCH 2011

After a three-month pause for reflection, I'm coming back to this blog with a renewed perspective on what I want to share. I stopped blogging because with so many transitions happening in my life (moving, traveling, moving, and moving again in only a few months)--and, well just ordinary life happening--nothing seemed particularly notable for the sharing. I was feeling tired, overwhelmed, bored, dispassionate, stressed out, worried, weighed down. What did I really have to say? We all feel that way regularly enough, and who needs to hear more?

Pema Chodron touches on this in an article I just recently read in the March 2011 issue of Shambhala Sun: "When we look at the world around us--our immediate world and the bigger world beyond--we see a lot of difficulty and dysfunction. The news we hear is mostly bad news, and that makes us afraid. It can be quite discouraging" (48). Sometimes it takes unthinkable effort to stay encouraged by life when surrounded by so much obvious sadness and negativity--and it's difficult enough to summon the energy to reach beyond the anguish to share the beautiful moments. Maybe we even convince ourselves that the ordinary pleasures of life are insignificant in the face of such suffering. I don't understand the tricks of mind that I play on myself, but I know I repeatedly lose my vision for pausing in everyday reality, for seeing the smallest moments of magic.

Chodron tells us, there is a "basic queasiness that leads us to all kinds of self-destructive and other-destructive habits" and a "whole chain of events that emerges from our fear of uncertainty, of not knowing what in the world is happening or what is going to happen" (49). I feel an urgency to interact with this chain of events; to interfere knowingly--though perhaps innocently; to respond to my abounding fears and uncertainty with intent. I want to return to the primary assumption of this blog--a reality for pausing in: to not overlook or disregard the small points of joy, but to connect them; to appreciate the magic that is present in that which is obscured by routine; to actively express gratitude and to meaningfully alter the "chain of events that emerge" from my thoughts and practices, my surroundings.