I started to feel overwhelmed on Sunday when I realized how much I had to sort through before the garage sale. So I called my older brother and asked for his help. And because he is a sweetie, he came the very next afternoon. (He had to drive three hours to come down to Vallejo.) If not for his participation in the sorting and the motivation he provided by working beside me, I would not have gotten through the stuff in the garage. But we got through it! Finally. (of course, there are still many boxes in the garage that dad has not yet approved for garage sale, so don’t imagine we have a nifty new garage. My dad will have to deal with those items once he gets back from Africa. In the meantime, I’m proud of what we did get through.) My brother’s staying today to help out, leaving about 3pm. Our plan is to tackle the stuff in the living room and the stuff on the porch.
I agree that “love is so supremely important” and I am grateful to all those people who’ve contributed to my well being by loving me and supporting me: family and also friends who became family.
Thank you to my brother for saving me from the intimidation of the TASK before me, at least while he is here. And for sharing dinner time with me, and a smoothie later on.
Thank you to snark who I’ve talked with on the phone almost every day while I’ve been in CA, making our month apart not nearly as lonely: for sharing the details of his day in length and being a “chatty cathy” (his words); for not being hesitant to say “I love you”; for listening to me when I am tired and complainy. (I miss hugging you. Hurrying on up and get here, will you?)
Thank you to my friends: to the people I keep in contact with regularly by phone and letters and email and visits and to those who I only see or speak with occasionally, but who I feel joyful to hear from when we do make our connections. This seems like a good place to requote auden, “love each other or perish,” because without all these friendships, what would be the point of it all? I really would perish, or at least be depressed enough to want to.
so thank you to E for teaching me that it's okay to cry. that it's important to do it, and actually makes me feel better, even when it seems to happen at an inappropriate time--apologizing not needed, right? thank you to mema for being another mama to me: for talking with me on just about any subject, intimate or trivial, and for being so gosh darn honest and open. also, for trying out raw foods with me a couple of years ago and for sending me long letters. thank you to courtney for our listening-and-sharing phone dates where we ponder through life together, offer reflections, and laugh at ourselves for all our patterns and embarrassing moments. reciprocation is, i think, what most of us aim for in our relationships (even if it's not in those words). to the wombsters for illustrating the benefits of sharing conversation and food with a group of women on a regular basis.
Thank you to my family. The other day my mom and I ran errands and my grandma joined us for the second half of the errand-running day. Sitting in the back seat of the car, I felt such happiness hearing them chatting up front and laughing. How lucky I am to be here spending so much time with my family. On father’s day I got to kiss my grandpa on the top of his head. You all know, that I spent the rest of the day working with my dad. And a couple of weeks ago I got to visit my auntie at work while on a bike ride with a friend. How wonderful to have such opportunities! Normally, they are so far away!
I’m also grateful to the friends who have dropped out of my life for whatever reasons--those people who were once essential to my feelings of home and happiness, who broadened my sense of humor, and cuddled with me when I needed touch. They do this for other friends now and new people do it for me, but I appreciate the love we felt while we had it…and that I can think about them and remember the good emotions and growth and comfort that they brought to my life. What luck to have had such people affect me, love me!
And yes, I realize that I’m kind of sounding like a yearbook or like I’m dying or something, so with that censoring thought in mind, I’m cutting myself off here. off to work!
p.s. i just found these photos on my mom's computer. i've never seen them before, but thought they were appropriate to add to a post that talks about love and family!
my dad, mom, me, sister-in-law, and brother in CO
snark's dad and me, outside my old apartment
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