reality for pausing: sicko

Friday, March 20, 2009

sicko

after having a 24 hour migraine, and finally starting to feel (somewhat) better (in comparison to feeling like i was kicked in the back of my neck by a horse), this evening i decided to watch sicko, a documentary by michael moore. most people i know have already seen it, i'm sure; it came out in 2007. but if you haven't seen it, i recommend watching it. it is definitely sad to watch, though--the information about the privatized health care system in the US is frustrating, disgusting, shameful--so you might want to be in a serious mood before you put it on.

also, i haven't posted in a while, so here's the everyday news that's been occurring: last sunday was super snark's 35th birthday. we went to sierra vista and washed our sleeping bags and big blankets at the laundry mat. poor snark! not very fun!

my mom and auntie arrived the same day. they left on wednesday. and this coming monday, snark's mom arrives.

in the past week or so, i've finished four quick novels: chocolat and blackberry wine by joanne harris, the swallows of kabul by mohammed moulessehoul (under the pseudonym of yasmina khadra), and a young adult novel by john green called an abundance of katherines. my favorite of them all was chocolat, mainly because it enhances my own daydreams of feeding people delectable treats. i'm still, however, reading backlash by journalist susan faludi; a dense book full of excellent, informative information about the american feminist backlash of the 1980s (as well as other backlashes against american women's rights that came before).

this morning i waited in a clinic for an hour and a half to get a five second tb test poke with a needle (and that was with an appointment!). i also got finger printed at the jail, which was much quicker (only 15 minutes). both of those things are required for working for the women's transition project (renaissance house) where i've been volunteering the last few weeks.

today is the first day of spring (right?). happy spring to those who enjoyed it! happy spring to those who will enjoy it tomorrow!

by the way, if you're interested in conversation on single sex education and what it does and does not entail, check out L's extensive blog post from march 11th on this subject.

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about this blog

Originally, I created this blog for family and friends to stay updated with our location and happenings while we were traveling the country. But only a few months after I began blogging about our travel adventures we drove into the sweet, slow town of Bisbee and ended up staying. We actually moved five times while living there, thanks to generous neighbors who asked us to long-term housesit in between our rentals. We are on the move once more, and so it seems we are habitually in transition.

Traveling and moving so often stirs up questions for us about what we really need to feel content, comfortable, and energized about life; it emphasizes for us our relationship and attachment to things--ours and other people's things that fill our living spaces; and it encourages me to appreciate the value in staying put, while realizing that frequent physical change underscores the uncertainty and occasions for choice that exist in all moments of life.

MARCH 2011

After a three-month pause for reflection, I'm coming back to this blog with a renewed perspective on what I want to share. I stopped blogging because with so many transitions happening in my life (moving, traveling, moving, and moving again in only a few months)--and, well just ordinary life happening--nothing seemed particularly notable for the sharing. I was feeling tired, overwhelmed, bored, dispassionate, stressed out, worried, weighed down. What did I really have to say? We all feel that way regularly enough, and who needs to hear more?

Pema Chodron touches on this in an article I just recently read in the March 2011 issue of Shambhala Sun: "When we look at the world around us--our immediate world and the bigger world beyond--we see a lot of difficulty and dysfunction. The news we hear is mostly bad news, and that makes us afraid. It can be quite discouraging" (48). Sometimes it takes unthinkable effort to stay encouraged by life when surrounded by so much obvious sadness and negativity--and it's difficult enough to summon the energy to reach beyond the anguish to share the beautiful moments. Maybe we even convince ourselves that the ordinary pleasures of life are insignificant in the face of such suffering. I don't understand the tricks of mind that I play on myself, but I know I repeatedly lose my vision for pausing in everyday reality, for seeing the smallest moments of magic.

Chodron tells us, there is a "basic queasiness that leads us to all kinds of self-destructive and other-destructive habits" and a "whole chain of events that emerges from our fear of uncertainty, of not knowing what in the world is happening or what is going to happen" (49). I feel an urgency to interact with this chain of events; to interfere knowingly--though perhaps innocently; to respond to my abounding fears and uncertainty with intent. I want to return to the primary assumption of this blog--a reality for pausing in: to not overlook or disregard the small points of joy, but to connect them; to appreciate the magic that is present in that which is obscured by routine; to actively express gratitude and to meaningfully alter the "chain of events that emerge" from my thoughts and practices, my surroundings.